If you were to ask anyone what it is like going through a divorce, even those who have no personal experience with it would tell you that it is difficult for everyone involved. Divorces are a period where everyone’s lives are permanently changing, requiring assets and time to be split, and moving to new houses and cities.
Everyone is wired a little differently, and some feel the stress more than others. One particular group of people who undoubtedly feel more stress than others is children. Every family is different, and every divorce is different, so it can be tricky to know exactly how a divorce is affecting a child. There are some things you can do to help, though.
The most important thing you will want to do is communicate openly with your child throughout the entire process. Children are naturally curious, and while divorce may be a painful concept for a child to grasp, they will undoubtedly want to know a few things. If their questions are brushed off or ignored, then there is a good chance the child will not ask in the future, and there is a greater chance that the divorce will have a more dramatic effect on the child. They may ask some questions they shouldn’t know the answers to, but it is important that they feel you understand why they’re asking, and that their feelings are important.
Another major factor in divorces that can cause children enormous stress is for them to feel like they are put in the middle. You and your spouse need to prevent this, in every way.
- Never use the child as a spy on the other parent, or even give them the impression that you’d like them to be
- Never use the child as a messenger for the other parent
- Never allow the child to see that they will be treated differently
Divorce is certainly not an easy process for a family to go through, and it will affect everyone, but if you follow these few steps, the damage can be minimized, and everyone’s lives will soon be for the better.